From Kerry Email: 'Quick, Get Fanatical!'

I am on the Kerry emailing list because I want to read the “we lost” message after the election. However, these guys send many emails (even though I attempted to unsubscribe a while ago, but I have decided to stay on recently). Now, they have sent an amusing “we only have one week left! Get fanatical!” message. Let me just illustrate how energetic the Kerry camp tries to be:
Sentences that end in with colon: 4
Sentences that end in with a question mark: 4
Sentences that end with a period: 8
Sentences that end with an exclamation mark: 33

Only punctuation marks that are used with their most common purpose are counted. For example, “WE WILL WIN THIS ELECTION!!!” and “VOTE!!!” (caps are in original) are counted to have three exclamation marks each, because a string of exclamation marks emphasizes the exclamation. However, a string of three periods, like in “Each volunteer can make a difference…just imagine” is not counted, because three consecutive periods indicate a pause, lapse in time, or the exclusion of a portion of a quote. Additionally, the line “But time is running out….” Does count for one period, as the last of these four periods signifies an end to the sentence (in special cases, it may mean that the sentence, paragraph, or entire text will never be finished. This was used at the end of a famous historian’s book when he was executed by Nazi’s mid-sentence).


I already know that the Kerry campaign can't use proper grammar, but this email was a bit too much.